2019 was really something. This year, I feel tons of feelings, and not everything was a pleasant experience. The laugh, cry, happiness, sadness, tired, and boredom fill my year. I tried my best to adapt and fit in a new place, with new people, a group of people who already know each other really well, and here I come, the new and young colleague who basically knows nothing about how things work in there. I judge myself a lot. I’m getting shier, more introvert, and I just avoid people whenever I can. I’m changing, into someone I don’t really know. I feel lost this year.
2019 was kinda hard. I was down and being hard on myself. I hate myself a bit and don’t really want to meet people. I think I passed my quarter-life crisis, a few years before, but ended up it harder this year. I didn’t love myself, I didn’t really think about my health, I eat whatever, sleep whenever I have time, and frequently getting tired. In the second semester of 2019 I realize what should I change and what should I start, but I don’t really get the energy to start it all. I think all my energy was draining just to make sure I’m breathing and surviving well.
2019 taught me a lot. I’m growing up this year, literally and figuratively. I learned more this year about life. I clearly know what happens with my mind and life currently and I’ll try my best to change it, gradually, till I get more confidence and love myself more. I’ll learn more about self love and try to applied it into my life. I know I should believe in myself more than anything, cause if I don’t, then who will believe me?
Lastly, just wanna say bye and thanks dear 2019, for every single thing, every step I take, every word I give and get, every lesson learnt, I knew it was hard but I’m grateful for it all.