Living on your own definitely a hard thing to do. You will change drastically into someone different than who you used to be. You will realize what’s important and what’s not. You shaped in this stage of your life. Well, at least me. As a teen, when I read or watch something that stated, that it’s quite embarrassing to stay with your parents after you graduate from high school, or that it’s a sign of unemployed man, I kinda confused, since in Indonesia, living with your parents is not a bad thing. As I moved to another city when I graduated, I slowly realize, by living by your own, things will completely different.
I started to live by myself when I was 17 years old. I think it is a good age to start. Your family and your childhood take a big part to shape your behavior, your habits, your like and dislike, also the way you react. Your adolescence was your having fun part, this part you start feel with your heart, you make friends and best friends, you start to love someone, and you will experience your first heartbreak. You maybe not remember every scene of your childhood but the memories still there back in your mind and it’ll naturally come back anytime in your adulthood, and your adolescence part will give a big impact on your life, some of the people there will stay beside you, while most of them went already. Your adolescence part will remind you for everything that happened and the consequences, and most likely it will help you make decision. Everything that happened in your past will help you survive in your adulthood.
Why I said 17 was the right time to start living by yourself? This may not be true, but this is what I’ve experiences. In your adulthood, you will learn more about yourself, what you want to do in your life, what you want to do for a living, what makes you excited. In this stage, you also learn more about people. When you are in college, or when you start your first job, you will know people from many backgrounds, with different characteristics, different stories, and it will scare you at first. I was a timid girl since child, people knew me as a shy girl, not a talkative one, and will not say anything if there’s no one asked me. Until my high school phase, as people keep say it like that, I keep it in my mind that I am a shy girl, all the time.
In the first day after I arrived in this new city to continue my study, I randomly cried, so hard, in front of my Sister. She keeps asking me what’s wrong, but as I remember, I didn’t even know why I cried, but my tears won’t stop. Now I know, I think I am scared to start my new life, in new place, all by myself. At times goes and I start my student orientation, I make promise to myself that I should change a bit, I should be more friendly, easy to reach, and stop being so shy, that’s my way to survive even I start this all alone. I can confidently say; this way is one of the best ways. I adapt well, I got new friends, I still in touch with my best friends from high school, but I also have new best friends who help me through the college life even after it. This ‘new’, ‘first day’, ‘know no one’ thing is not stop there. I experienced it also when I start my first job also my next job.
Living by yourself, far away from people you know, have to survive in the new world, in the same time need to learn new things is hard, I can’t deny it. I do it in the past 8 years and now still counting. I don’t always be good on this, sometimes I also break. I am down and sad, and it is so hard to pull myself up. I tired of being alone, tired to adapt all over again, and tired that I should learn about the people around me all over again. Sometimes I want to give up. Maybe I should stop all this, give up on my dreams and just back to my family. Up to now, sometimes I feel it. One thing that keep me sane is the friends around me, my best friends, my circle. If something happens with myself, I mostly call my family and tell them, but most of the time I don’t want to make them worry, especially my Mom. In that time, I need my best friend, I will go to them, cheer myself up with them.
As a social being, we cannot disprove the fact that we need other people. Even when we can live by ourselves, we cannot deny that sometimes we need people, for me, my best friends, which I trust so much, and I can tell everything to them. They keep me sane by their insanity, and I love that. I maybe pick a hard way to live my life, but I choose a path where full of people who support me no matter what. Nowadays, I realize that my current circles are the best circles I ever had, whatever I need I can find in them all. I maybe rumbling too much, but what I want to say here is in this adulthood, the stage where we decide our future, decide ourselves, and where we decide what will we do with our life, besides my family, the one who keep me on track are my best friends, I maybe know them for different years of my life, but each of them have a special impact for myself 🙂